there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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