I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
