how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
