please come you make the beer taste better
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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