I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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