Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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