i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
