wat bout pragnant strippers??
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
