yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
