the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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