Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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