This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
