Plan B is the new Plan A
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
