morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
