And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
