Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
