You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
