I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
