Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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