there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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