I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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