I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
