I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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