There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
