Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
