when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
