i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
