Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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