Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
