another moral hangover. fuck.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
