I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
