Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
