Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
