4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
