hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You took a bar mat shot.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
