Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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