do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
