Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
