So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
