yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
