I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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