Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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