why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
