But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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