ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
