mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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