I think my fart just growled at me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize