she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Im part way to drunk.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
