I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
