sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
