did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
