My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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