Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have fence marks all over my body
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
