She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
whose ass print is on the piano?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
