Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
high people should be assigned attendants
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize