the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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