There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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