Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
