dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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