do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
