I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
