Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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