dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
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