Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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